Would you look at that. Here it is 2012 and I made all those promises in my last post about updating you more frequently about our progress, and then I go and get all caught up in a bunch of young adult novels where children in the future fight each other to the death on television.
I said I’d show you the upstairs master bath and closet, but right now there are more pressing issues at hand, even more pressing than children fighting each other to the death. I just finished painting the living room, dining room, kitchen and pantry.
How do you people out there choose paint colors? I tried getting a bunch of paint chips and dropping them in the grass outside and having them all fight each other to the death, until one color remained and was the victor, but that didn’t work. They just sat there, not fighting each other to the death. Confused, I reverted back to our tried-and-not-true-patented-technique, which I call Color You May Or May Not Be Happy With But Dammit You Can Finish And Get Back To Finding Out What Happens When Children Fight Each Other To The Death.
Here’s our technique: There is no color vetting process. We don’t test paint chips. We don’t paint small patches and see how shades will look on the wall at different times of the day. We don’t watch David Bromstad or the movie Colors. Yes maybe we should do these things. But we don’t. We gamble on paint. Buy a gallon, kiss the lid, shake the can and throw it up there. Which is kinda crazy considering we’re obsessed when it comes to finding just the right color when staining wood.
This paint gambling technique began years ago with what was known as the “That’s Not Barn Door Red, It’s Carrie’s Prom Bucket O’Pig Blood Red” incident, followed by the “My Driver’s License Says Over 21 But My Kitchen Walls Suggest I Play With Care Bears” fiasco. Then suddenly, as if Bob Ross himself waved his magic paint brush across the sky, we met a neighbor who was an interior designer, who helped us choose the colors for the entry and upstairs rooms. But now he’s moved away, so we’re left to our own questionable devices.
We’ve had this awful blue in the living and dining rooms for over a year now. We liked it for about 5 minutes, then decided it was the shade of despair and pity.
So we decided to paint over it – but with what? We had much much love for the Benjamin Moore Woodstock Tan in our entry, so we decided to play the odds and use it through the rest of the floor. Besides, it’s all kind of one giant room now anyway.
The verdict? We love it. It’s absolutely changed our whole perspective on the house. It’s recharged our batteries. The wood wainscoting we installed and stained looks great with it and it’s all warm and cozy and craftsman-y. It’s like when that girl in that movie got that makeover and then all those great amazing things happened to her because she was beautiful but then she realized that superficial things aren’t really what they’re cracked up to be and that true beauty lies inside herself but then in the end she still stays hot and gets the guy so it’s ‘lesson learned,’ Hollywood-style. God, that’s such a good movie.
Now, on the other hand, we risked bigger odds with the kitchen and pantry. We were thinking of just continuing the Woodstock Tan, but then I’ve been panicky about wanting a light, bright kitchen (not a Lite Brite kitchen – but how cool would that be?) and so we decided to pick another color. We chose it from the same Benjamin Moore paint swatch that 2 other colors in our house are on – Woodstock tan, and Briar’s Gold (which is in the staircase and upstairs mini hall/landing). The color we chose was Pittsfield Buff.
I kind of think the color is the pits. G loves it; I think it’s skewing a tad too yellow for my taste. It’s not terrible enough for me to want to change it – I just wish it was lighter and brighter. But dems da breaks when you play the odds.